Keep Fighting

“After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again…
The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection.”

C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity.

October 1, 2011 – 5:59AM; 49 degrees; Littleton, Colorado.

It’s dark out and I (David) can still see stars above as I sit wrapped in my sleeping bag out on the deck. Mornings are always chilly at 6,000 ft. and a 40 degree swing during the day is not
unusual here at the base of the Rocky Mountain foothills. There is just the faintest hint of light on
the eastern horizon and everything is quiet and still.

There’s no other way to say it. Yesterday was a disaster. I failed in almost every respect. A mere five days in to our new 90 day challenge and I allowed myself to be crushed by the Enemy. It started with giving into sexual temptation online, which is by far my greatest and most consistent struggle. Then it spiraled out of control from there. I barely managed a double digit point total for the day which is far below our target goal. I went to bed last night dejected and discouraged.

But thank God for his beautiful design where each morning you can start anew. I woke before my alarm with the above quote from C.S. Lewis in my mind - “pick yourself up, and try again.”

So I’m out on the deck on this Saturday morning while most are still sleeping. Just spending time with our Father. Dwelling on His beauty, thanking Him for His forgiveness, and appreciating who He is. I make a conscious decision to forgive myself for the failures of yesterday. The Enemy will try to use our failures and sin as a club to fill us with guilt and shame and convince us to stop fighting. However, I have repented and God has forgiven me and doesn’t even remember my failures of yesterday. So I choose to do the same. I spend 90 minutes with Him, praying, reading I Peter 1, interceding for family and friends and reading a chapter from one of my favorite Brennan Manning books, The Rabbi’s Heartbeat.

I am struck by these words from Manning:

“The Christian commitment is not an abstraction. It is a concrete, visible, courageous, and formidable way of being in the world forged by daily choices consistent with inner truth. A commitment that is not visible in humble service, suffering discipleship, and creative love is an illusion.”

And I am reminded, once again, how important the disciplines are and how important this 90 day challenge is.

I finish my morning time with the Lord and get an enjoyment of beauty point by listening to the fifth movement of Beethoven’s 6^th Symphony while I enjoy the sunrise. Absolutely gorgeous. (6 points; sunrise, time with God (2), intercession, reading, enjoyment of beauty.)

I then take a 25 minute hike before breakfast and get a cardio point. (1 point; cardio.)

The aspens are at the height of their golden beauty in the high mountains and I decide to take my Mom on a color drive. We’re off!

Returning from a few hours enjoying bright yellow aspens among the evergreens with a deep Colorado blue sky in the background, I head to the gym to work out and do a session of kickboxing. (2 points; gym workout, physical warrior training.)

Then, I meet up with my brother-in-law and train him for 45 minutes (he has asked me to help him lose weight and get in shape and he is doing great. Down almost 15 pounds already!) (1 point; random act of generosity (time).)

In the evening after supper I spend some time praying with my Mom who is battling a terrible shingles infection in her eye. She has rather constant nerve pain around her eye and we keep praying for a healing breakthrough. (3 points; battling for someone in prayer.)

By the end of the day I have compiled seven additional points. (7 points; sexual
purity, eating with discipline, vow of poverty, vow of silence, working on
ministry tasks.)

After the disappointment of yesterday, I began the day resolved to fight even harder and had my most successful day yet on the new program – 20 points.

We would love to hear how you are progressing with the new challenge and hope that when you fail, and you will, that you will pick yourself up, set your face like flint, and try again.